i would like in Moldova one thing to happen…for parents to let their kids be free. Not fill them up with their archaic expectations, expect them to realize their paranoiac goals and fullfill their parent dreams. No child is responsible for making parents proud. This responsibility is heavy. No child is left to play as long as he wants, cry as long as he wants, laugh when he wants. Our parents were educated in a strict manner…these were the times…they are not quilty..and most of that insanity was passed to these generations as well even though it feels we are all fine. We are not. The most difficult thing i found to do is to share unconditional love with parents…because they find it mandatory. And if find that actually most of the children have repressed hatred to their parents.most probably you too….of course its a sin to think like that…so let’s stop. They gave us life and their love and their stole our freedom….they didn’t let us be crazy as we are… No child was brought up as a free individual….willing to share, love unconditionally, be vulnerable..live life passionately, be grateful…and follow his inner voice…follow his inner tendencies…. I can’t find such people, and i am not one of them.
Moldova is a great case of how parents tend to control your life, most of them do…and the main reason for it because “they love you”…but this love is conditioned most of the time….”we love you unless you don’t become a transvestite”. I realized that it doesnt make sense of searching anything in this world, it just doesn’t make sense unless i solve these issues with parents…and i finally take out all these baggage of expectations….this huge expectations invested. I wanna live my life…..and it might be that making them proud is not the only thing i dream about. Everywhere in the world it is mandatory to love your parents and your family……and its a good rule….because otherwise most of the kids would rebel…and many people would.
parents are the first people to rebel….and it is the only rebellion….the rest is piece of cake. my rebelion is just retarded so far…i stay with parents these days….and i run out of gas…they probably wont ever understand anything…and its fine…this is also a nice realization. i am talking about freedom and doing what you want while going through a crazy jungle…but in reality i dont have courage to wear my favourite thai weird looking pants…my parents go mad. …and i dont have courage to tell them that i dont believe in most of the bullshit they do….and i wanna jump out from the climbing the ladder insanity……i am not so passionate about careers, about apartments and cars…about achieving smth and becoming someone….having a family and devoting myself to kids……i might be a wrong candidate for that..even though it might happen one day….i might not be willing to become respectable….and i might not be willing to devote my life to some missions. I might not be so ambitious anymore….its too insane…. I might not care about the new furniture, about getting comfort..about ensuring my pension…..i might not be enthusiastic in becoming a model for people…i might not follow all these. The day i will be able to say this to them..i will be ready to leave…and finally do what i always wanted…jump into unknown…and find my place…and allow myself be happy….hopefully its gonna happen soon…but so far…i am a chicken.
