The Devil's Dictionary(selected ones)
I've read Ambrose Bierce when I was 13th or even 12e. Strange histories about death and people who dared to die. I remember the strange story I've liked the most- about a deaf boy who saw a battle champ. After Edgar Poe, Ambrose Bierce is really scary. Those days I found somethig that awoke my old passion. So let me share with you some of the "devilish" definition of common words from Ambrose Bierce's dictionary that I liked the most.
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, "Is life worth living?" has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not, many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the honors of successful controversy.
"Life's not worth living, and that's the truth,"
Carelessly caroled the golden youth.
In manhood still he maintained that view
And held it more strongly the older he grew.
When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,
"Go fetch me a surgeon at once!" cried he.
—Han Soper
LIBERTY, n. One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared around the palace: "Liberty or death!"
"If death will do," the King said, "let me reign;
You'll have, I'm sure, no reason to complain."
—Martha Braymance
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.
DEAD, adj.
Done with the work of breathing; done
With all the world; the mad race run
Though to the end; the golden goal
Attained and found to be a hole!
—Squatol Johnes
MONEY, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.
I is the first letter of the alphabet, the first word of the language, the first thought of the mind, the first object of affection. In grammar it is a pronoun of the first person and singular number. Its plural is said to be We, but how there can be more than one myself is doubtless clearer to the grammarians than it is to the author of this incomparable dictionary. Conception of two myselfs is difficult, but fine. The frank yet graceful use of "I" distinguishes a good writer from a bad; the latter carries it with the manner of a thief trying to cloak his loot.
IMMORTALITY, n.
A toy which people cry for,
And on their knees apply for,
Dispute, contend and lie for,
And if allowed
Would be right proud
Eternally to die for.
—G.J.
n.pl. Certain abstentions.
The Devil's Dictionary was a newspaper weekly first collected as a book in 1906. While the book represents diabolical appetites, and derides pretense, it should be noted that Bierce generally reserved his severest ridicule for those who benefit most from the status quo. It's easy to imagine him a century later relying less on casual political incorrectness, to pay better tribute to those who couldn't overindulge enough on the prosperity that took place. Minor edits have been made here under that consideration.
If you wish to copy and paste large excerpts from the Devil's Dictionary, HTML-only drafts of the book are listed at yahoo.com. MIKE LEUNG, n. One who exploits the dead to sell you the official site t-shirt. Except for the book adapted, this entire site uses less code than a typical wired.com front page.VVOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.VITUPERATION, n. Saite [string music], as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Sursa
2010-12-06 12:35:49