Letter to an old friend

Dear PMS,

For the first time (this year) I feel that I need to write you a letter just to tell how I feel about you. So, here we come, my good old friend:

You know, I just hate you! You make my life so complicated.  You come to my house every month to spend a whole week with me, don’t you wanna ask first, maybe I have plans, you know? Hey, it’s a whole week every month! I am obligated to spend a quarter of my life with you, because neither I would want to spend my life with me while you are near me!

Oh God, What did I do to deserve such an irritant and annoying friend like it?

You are so boring, I become so week and crazy. All I can do these days is eat and scream at everybody, I hate myself for doing this, but this is all because of you. My parents are avoiding me, my friends won’t return my calls, I watch Titanic and cry and my relationship becomes sick.

So listen to me now, you %*((^%&*^$$& friend:

I know that I can’t avoid your presence every month for a whole week, but I order you, or I’m begging you, anyway, please, come with a peace of cake and a lot of gooooooood mood! I need this, because, listen, if my relationship go down, you will be the only one responsible for this!!!

So, I hope next month we will spend very good time together.

Best regards and without love,

Your tortured.