Vrem IKEA la Durleşti

This post is dedicated to the Facebook group Vrem IKEA la Durlesti :)

The article is written after my first purchase at IKEA Stockholm, Kugens Kurva (biggest IKEA store in the world, kind of…they haven’t seen yet the Stejaurul factory outlet in Chişinău :) ).

IKEA is said to have been derived from I-Kill-Y(e)A due to the furniture’s ability to cause heart arrest in people who like popcorn. IKEA makes and sell flat-pack furniture but due to restrictions in the law in many nations are unable to deliver. Many people get around this by driving Volvo station wagons to IKEA and filling them to the brim with gaudy plastic tat made by Lars Larsson and Per Persson and as well Fredrick Fredricksson.

IKEA self-assembly furniture is made of balsa wood and comes with a small metal key. Instructions are usually of the standard “insert flange A into sprocket ZB-5001C” type. Unfortunately, the instructions are written in Japanese (not English or Swedish, contrary to popular belief), translated to Bulgarian, THEN Swedish, then German, Portuguese and finally Esperanto before being translated into English eaten by a grue. Fun stuff :).

Many Swedes have been banned from IKEA and taken to court for not returning the pencils that are given at the start to help fill in order forms. This created a new sport, which has not been officially named yet, where the participants run into IKEA and attempt to escape without either being caught or purchasing the popular KRAPP piece of furniture.

Three geeks getting excited over an IKEA catalog

All of the items featured in IKEA are made with product specifications such as: they are 5 inches too big to fit into a car boot, they are missing at least one vital construction piece, the person who wrote the instructions thought it would be funny to include pictures of other instruction manuals.

IKEA is seen by many as the happiest place on Earth. I have even applied for a happy job in Älmhult (living room of Mr. Ingvar Kamprad). After being recruited as a supply planner and seeing my happy salary I have decided to leave immediately – I guess I am not mature enough to understand that happiness is not only about salary :)

Nevertheless what better way to spend Saturdays then by carrying a wardrobe through a car park or enjoying a meal of meatballs. IKEA is also a great place to spot the elusive argumentative couple, who can usually be found arguing over lamp shades and the right to bear arms. It has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon.

IKEA was founded by the Swede Ingvar Kamprad, despite the chronic lack of style in design so typical of the Swedes. The only thing that mattered was supply chain management, namely persuading people to buy stuff directly from a warehouse.

Some tips about your shopping at IKEA:

# Having decided on which of the billions of items sold by IKEA it is that you wish to buy, you will need to visit your local store, which is probably at least 80 Swedish miles away :) -~800KM.

# Take a pair of binoculars with you, because your item will be on the top shelf of a 70 meters high metal rack.

# Once you have located it, spend another hour attempting to locate a member of staff. They will tell you that, very shortly, a man will come with a ladder and get it down for you. The man will never come :).

Some importants facts about IKEA:

# The royal residence of the Swedish king has only furniture from IKEA.

# Where else can you get meals for 15 SEK in Sweden (25 MLD)? At least at IKEA Korvkiosk.

# IKEA names the furniture after the child labourer who designed and constructed it.

# Apple is suing IKEA over the Apple iKea

Now I guess you are curious, what item I bought from IKEA :-D :

p.s. I have some official videos from IKEA:


Sursa
2009-12-24 10:59:15



Comenteaza





Ultimele 25 posturi adăugate

18:43:09PUNCT OCHIT, PUNCT RATAT! —» Sergiu Mocanu
20:33:05Capcanele conjugării verbelor (2)  —» Moldova Creștină
12:12:47Republica Moldova – firmă-fantomă cu proprietari fictivi —» Nicolae Federiuc
12:07:40Am lansat portalul de știri ZIUA.MD —» Nicolae Federiuc
04:50:32DIN POEZIA AVANGARDEI UCRAINENE —» Leo Butnaru
14:19:55Judecata de Acum #EdițieSpecială | Profesorul de civism —» Curaj.TV | Media alternativă
11:34:16Cum influențează indicatorii bibliometrici ai directorilor de proiecte finanțarea cercetării în Republica Moldova? —» Gheorghe Cuciureanu
06:24:18ÎN FAȚA ZIDURILOR, CETĂȚILOR... —» Leo Butnaru
06:07:48URME, RĂNI —» Andrei LANGA. Blogul personal
15:43:47Valorificarea operei hasdeistice, digitizată din Colecția „Carte veche și rară” a Bibliotecii Centrale a BM „B.P. Hasdeu”: Expoziție aniversară (2) —» BiblioCity
15:43:18Valorificarea operei hasdeistice, digitizată din Colecția „Carte veche și rară” a Bibliotecii Centrale a BM „B.P. Hasdeu”: Expoziție aniversară (1) —» BiblioCity
13:21:39Poezia în viața noastră —» BiblioCity
13:20:50,,Magic Creator” - serviciul de recreere și dezvoltare a imaginației utilizatorilor —» BiblioCity
12:59:21Ziua Internațională a Poeziei la Biblioteca „Onisifor Ghibu" —» BiblioCity
12:33:57Leonid Popescu între cuvânt și culoare … —» BiblioCity
12:19:09Lecţia publică „Republica Moldova Zonă de risc seismic” la Biblioteca „Onisifor Ghibu” —» BiblioCity
08:56:45POEZIA AVANGARDELOR VECINE, RUSĂ ȘI UCRAINEANĂ —» Leo Butnaru
14:07:32De la suflet la suflet, împreună, din toată inima pentru Turcia./ —» Curaj.TV | Media alternativă
13:54:01ZIUA MONDIALĂ A POEZIEI CU POETA NATALIA MAZÎLU-MIRON —» Biblioteca Publică or.Rîşcani
12:30:182 MARTIE - ZIUA MEMORIEI ŞI COMEMORĂRII VICTIMELOR RĂZBOIULUI DIN TRANSNISTRIA —» Biblioteca Publică or.Rîşcani
11:38:38Proiectul Dincolo de Wikipedia —» Biblioteca de Arte 'Tudor Arghezi'
11:07:54IOAN SLAVICI - PĂRINTE SPIRITUAL AL PROZEI ARDELENE —» Biblioteca Publică or.Rîşcani
10:22:57ZILELE CREANGĂ – 2023 LA BIBLIOTECA PENTRU COPII RÎȘCANI —» Biblioteca Publică or.Rîşcani
09:15:58Rezultat excepțional pentru vinurile moldovenești la Berliner Wein Trophy —» Fine Wine
22:29:00Despre chat GPT și inteligența artificială. —» Blog de Cultura