We then decided to go on with it. The Jewish thing. Each of us had a fascination towards this powerful, tremendous and yet terrifying community all over the world. When I was in high school  I had 2 interests: blind people and Jews. When in 11th grade, 2 friends and I made our first movie for the History of Holocaust class. It featured a mix of photos, interviews and shootings of the Synagogue and Jewish cemetery from Iasi. Our main informant was a Holocaust survivor who emotionally overwhelmed us with the subject. Since then I got more used with the idea that Jews are ordinary people just like the rest of us. Not super humans, not „Untermenshen” in the the least.

1st of February, 6.30 pm, Kiraly utca 34, Moishe House

I.We sneak into the building and try to decipher the number of the apartments. Press ed the button, asked for Jim who shyly asked us inside into a room where around 20 chairs were placed in a semi-circle. A piano, a red couch, a huge blue cupboard. Photos on the walls. They started out in 2009. The inhabitants are allowed to live in the house no more than 3 years. For a change, they have to organize events meant to consolidate the young Jewish community from Budapest and elsewhere. Non-Jewish, curious, accidental visitors are also welcome. Jim is here from May. The room has religious significance. Jim tells us it is enough 10 people to gather that they can organize a collective prayer. Why, I inquire. Because there are certain prayers that are said on this ocassion, which are more powerful and more likely to reach out. Throughout the history Jews are known to have prayed everywhere, not necessarily in a synagogue. What is Kabbalath shabbath?For Jewish people once the sun sets down, a new day has arrived. So now it is already Saturday.  They celebrate the arrival of the „hot day” through this collective prayer and get-together followed by singing, discussion over dinner which they cook together. The religious significance of the room we are sitting in is given by the presence of the sacred book (Torah)placed in the huge vintage blue cupboard. Then he mentioned something of a „lost generation”. It's their parents. These young people's parents. After WW2 and especially during socialism, the Jewish identity together with other religious manifestations was something better to hide. After 90s everyone was free to attend to their own religious belonging but it was not that easy. The generation in-between is considered „lost”. Yet their descendants, generation number 3, are putting efforts to „reconnect”. With some external funds, true.I think I misunderstood the part regarding the conversion. I am still not sure if he is a „converted” Jew. I will make this clearer next time we see. He said that the first time he was in a synagogue he could not relate in any way. „People come and go, you are there helpless.” This particular community is very liberal, he says. They have members from the LGBT community. Jim is gay himself. If someone has homophobic remarks, they are pushed out from the community. They are open. Sometimes people would hear the singing downstairs, from the open window, and would come up and stay for the service and then come again and again. Jim shows us what is inside the prayer books placed on each chair. All the prayers are in Hebrew but they are accompanied by a Hungarian phonetic transcription. I look towards the red couch. In envisage myself sitting there during the religious service. From THAT corner I will be watching the whole thing. This is my self-assigned observation spot.It's almost 7. They schedule the event at 7 but in reality they don't start earlier than 8. „That's a Jewish thing”, Rays (he has just joined our discussion with with Jim) jokingly remarks. „I think it's universal”, I add. A girl with long feet enters the room with huge bowls and heads to the balcony. This is dinner, says Jim.So one more hour till it starts. We decide to go out and come later after 8.

II.When we were back from our brief escape, the room was already filled with people sitting in 4-5 rows, all of them facing the window (East?) with their backs at the door. Around 20 people, among which: 4 women, I think. I could distinguish Nick's voice uttering melodiously some lines they were reading from the prayer notebook each of them was holding in their hands. Swinging their backs back and forth. Some of them at times, few of them constantly. We are standing in the door way. It is good we are at their backs and they don't/cannot see us. Different levels of concentration on the prayer itself. Some of them would keep their heads down, deeply engrossed in following the lines/phonetic transcription of what Nick read out loud. Others would obviously seem impatient  furtively looking around. Most of men in the room wear a round cap called „kippah” on their heads. Just 2 didn't have it: Jim and David.Jim explained us earlier this is not compulsory. All of the caps were different, few of them were very small, caught with a clip, others were full-head-sized.
They alternate their melodious mumbling with moments of silence when each of them is reading from the books. Then they would sit down and then we could enter the room. K, S and I sat down on a red coach, next to Lana and David. Once we sat, I think someone took a photo or two of us but I pretended not to notice this.I peep into my neighbour's prayer book and he shows me with a smile what line to follow. In a few seconds I was handed my own one. 2 more pages of lines to go till the end of the book. Nick would then deliver a story in Hungarian while absently playing with a forehead strand of hair. He keeps his guitar on his knees and makes short pauses to think. Ray draws a chair closer to us and begins to translate what Nick is saying. We didn't even ask for a translation. I can hardly grasp the story line since they speak concomitantly, but I could make out it's about Moise, some theft morally condemned and the role of a leader in a community. We try to suggest that it might not be worth taking the trouble to translate everything, that we want to disturb/bother them as little as possible, but Ray says it's okay. Condescend smiles around. Quite a few men who might be over their 30s. The way they look at us makes me think everyone here understands English.After the singing part is over, while expecting for something else to happen, people casually discuss with each other. We get into conversation with Lana and David. Lana studies Design in Budapest and comes here quite often but not regularly. „It is more interesting when there is dinner.” What do they usually cook? „Something easy to prepare, esp. for a large number of people”, she says cheerfully.Jim tells us it is time to wash hands. If you want, Ray adds. Of course we do. People make a queue in front of the bathroom.  I cannot help myself mentally noticing that this very ritualic act is performed in a such a mundane setting, like an ordinary bathroom perhaps used daily by the inhabitants of the house. Yeah, I remember scenes from movies in which Jewish characters would wet symbolically their fingers in a bowl of water and then dry them with a white towel. On the mirror above the sink there is a sticker with a prayer both in English and Hebrew. While waiting we get to talk more with David. I ask him if he does the same back in US.  They do have a „wonderful place” there which stands for a synagogue, but „it is a lotta different”. He prays together with other (at least) 300 people in a large hall. Every third or fourth student at Yale University is Jewish, he says with a grin.Back in the room, people do communicate through hands clapping. I imagine they are imitating some song and I try a joke by saying that we should try our feet too but they only smile absently. Some awkward silence seems to get installed in the room, especially for us, the outsiders, who were only waiting instructions what to do/happens next. I feel the need to cover this silence with small talk so I look around on the walls and I see stickers with names. I suppose this is some sort of recognition towards the people who support financially the activities of MH, so I candidly ask who are they. Ray smiles again as if trying to ignore me but then in a few seconds he shows me with a gesture that his mouth is sewed. Oh! I am sorry. David then whispers to me: „We are not supposed to talk now” Alright, here's my first foolish question to ask. He then proceeds to explain and I just tell him he doesn't need to, but he says he doesn't follow this rule because he does not understand it. Nick and others come into the room with a bottle of wine and pour it in small cups which were distributed among everyone. After a short prayer we drink the wine and then we are given small pieces of very fresh and tasty salted bread. Lana and the other girls would then bring from the balcony the bowls with food. Ray comes closer and apologizes himself. I feel even more embarrassed  These people are too kind and I am too foolishly ignorant about everything.They start to pour soup in plates but I am too shy to get one. Have this feeling we are still intruders in this community and maybe there is not enough food for everyone. It was another foolish thing to do maybe, because not doing what is everyone doing enhanced my status of outsiderness.Nick is now interested in us. After he has completed his job as a spiritual leader for tonight's service he comes near us. I would guess he is around 28 years old. He has vivid eyes and restless hands. We start to casually talk and despite the noisy environment, this was an incredibly inspiring conversation. I cannot remember all the details but in my mind several threads of ideas flourished concomitantly while talking to him and it was like a battle to keep all those thought lines at a parallel level. I was at the same time aware of the necessity to be patient and refrain myself from asking too many questions and let them unfold in the weeks to come. Nick's parents, Jim's parents were not religious at all. Nick's parents did not even know they are Jews till they were adults. „I want to connect with my grandparents”, Nick says. He wants to skip one generation because their parents cannot relate spiritually with the Jewish practices. His mother started to go to the synagogue after him. „But it's artificial, you know.” He explains he does not know yet about his religious identity. He is trying hard to relate through imitation.
The dinner seems over. Jim is collecting the plates. Time to leave. We thank everyone and shake hands. See you next Friday! „Really?”, Ray asks with a happy look. Of course, we confirm. „That's great!”, he replies. I hope this is not merely a polite remark.