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What is a Jehovahs witness favorite band?
What is a Jehovahs witness favorite band?[Reposted from alphabet via ula]
What is a Jehovahs witness favorite band?[Reposted from alphabet via ula]
I love our customers, I really do. But some days we get some strange people in our shop. Here are some gems I'd like to share.
I love our customers, I really do. But some days we get some strange people in our shop. Here are some gems I'd like to share. --- Customer: Excuse me, do you have any signed copies of Shakespeare plays? Me: Er... do you mean signed by the people who performed the play? Customer: No, I mean signed by William Shakespeare. Me: .....*headdesk* ---- Customer: Hi, I'd like to return this book, please. Me: Do you have the receipt? Customer: Here. Me: Erm, you bought this book at Waterstone's. Customer: Yes. Me:.... we're not Waterstone's. Customer: But, you're a bookshop. Me: Yes, but we're not Waterstone's. Customer: You're all part of the same chain. Me: No, sorry, we're an independent bookshop. Customer: .... Me: Put it this way, you wouldn't buy clothes in H&M and take them back to Zara, would you? Customer: Well, no, because they're different shops. Me: Exactly. Customer:... I'd like to speak to your manager. ----- Person: Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Patrick. Me: No one of that name works here, sorry. Person: But does he live here? Me:... no one lives here; we're a bookshop. Person: Are you sure? ----- on the phone Me: Hello Ripping Yarns. Customer: Do you have any mohair wool? Me: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop. Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns. Me: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories. Customer: Well it's a stupid name. Me: It's a Monty Python reference. Customer: So you don't sell wool? Me: No. Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous. Me: ...but we do sell dead parrots. Customer: What? Me: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one? Customer: Erm, no. Me: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back. ----- Customer: Hi, if I buy a book, read it, and bring it back, could I exchange it for another book? Me: No... because then we wouldn't make any money. Customer: Oh. ----- Me: Ok, so with postage that brings your total to £13.05. One second and I'll get the card machine." Customer: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me £12.99. I will not pay for anything that starts with thirteen. You're trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it or I will go to a bookshop who doesn't want me to fall down a hole and die. Ok? ----- Customer: Hello, I'd like a copy of 'The Water Babies,' with nice illustrations. But I don't want to pay a lot of money for it, so could you show me what editions you do have so I can look at them, and then I can go and find one online? ----- Customer: Do you sell ipod chargers? ----- Man: Hi, I've just self-published my art book. My friends tell me that I'm the new Van Gogh. How many copies of my book would you like to order? ----- Woman: Hi, my daughter is going to come by on her way home from school to buy a book. But she seems to buy books with sex in them and she's only twelve, so can I ask you to keep an eye out for her and make sure she doesn't buy anything inappropriate for her age? I can give you a list of authors she's allowed to buy. Me: With all due respect, would it not be easier for you to come in with your daughter? Woman: Certainly not. She's a grown girl, she can do it herself. ---- Customer: Do you have any books on the dark arts? Me: ...No. Customer: Do you have any idea where I could find some? Me: Why don't you try Knockturn Alley? Customer: Where's that? Me: Oh, the centre of London. Customer: Thanks, I'll keep my eyes peeled for it. ----- Customer: I read a book in the eighties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean? ---- Customer: Do you have 'Windows 7 for Dummies'? Me: Sorry, we're an antiquarian bookshop; nearly everything in here pre-dates computers. Customer: Oh. Do you have user guide for antiquarian computers? You know from, like, the olden days, when they had swords and stuff? Me: ...? -- Customer: Do you have, like, a Christmas book about that, like, really famous baby? -- Customer: Do you think you could post this book to America for me, in time for Christmas? Me: Yes. I'm sure we could. I'll just get the scales and I can work out postage costs for you. Customer: You expect me to pay for the postage as well? I'm already paying for the book! Me: ... -- the real Mr Scrooge... Customer: I'd like a Christmas book, about Christmas, that doesn't have anything to do with snow, or robins, or snowmen, or Jesus, or holly. Me: ... right. Customer: And no bloody carols, either! -- Customer: Do you have any cards? Me: We have some old postcards in a box by the door. Some of them have already been written on, though. Customer: Oh, do you have one that says 'To Juliette, with love from Christine'? It would save me writing it out again, you see.[Reposted from celaeno via knicKnack]
I love our customers, I really do. But some days we get some strange people in our shop. Here are some gems I'd like to share. --- Customer: Excuse me, do you have any signed copies of Shakespeare plays? Me: Er... do you mean signed by the people who performed the play? Customer: No, I mean signed by William Shakespeare. Me: .....*headdesk* ---- Customer: Hi, I'd like to return this book, please. Me: Do you have the receipt? Customer: Here. Me: Erm, you bought this book at Waterstone's. Customer: Yes. Me:.... we're not Waterstone's. Customer: But, you're a bookshop. Me: Yes, but we're not Waterstone's. Customer: You're all part of the same chain. Me: No, sorry, we're an independent bookshop. Customer: .... Me: Put it this way, you wouldn't buy clothes in H&M and take them back to Zara, would you? Customer: Well, no, because they're different shops. Me: Exactly. Customer:... I'd like to speak to your manager. ----- Person: Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Patrick. Me: No one of that name works here, sorry. Person: But does he live here? Me:... no one lives here; we're a bookshop. Person: Are you sure? ----- on the phone Me: Hello Ripping Yarns. Customer: Do you have any mohair wool? Me: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop. Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns. Me: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories. Customer: Well it's a stupid name. Me: It's a Monty Python reference. Customer: So you don't sell wool? Me: No. Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous. Me: ...but we do sell dead parrots. Customer: What? Me: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one? Customer: Erm, no. Me: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back. ----- Customer: Hi, if I buy a book, read it, and bring it back, could I exchange it for another book? Me: No... because then we wouldn't make any money. Customer: Oh. ----- Me: Ok, so with postage that brings your total to £13.05. One second and I'll get the card machine." Customer: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me £12.99. I will not pay for anything that starts with thirteen. You're trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it or I will go to a bookshop who doesn't want me to fall down a hole and die. Ok? ----- Customer: Hello, I'd like a copy of 'The Water Babies,' with nice illustrations. But I don't want to pay a lot of money for it, so could you show me what editions you do have so I can look at them, and then I can go and find one online? ----- Customer: Do you sell ipod chargers? ----- Man: Hi, I've just self-published my art book. My friends tell me that I'm the new Van Gogh. How many copies of my book would you like to order? ----- Woman: Hi, my daughter is going to come by on her way home from school to buy a book. But she seems to buy books with sex in them and she's only twelve, so can I ask you to keep an eye out for her and make sure she doesn't buy anything inappropriate for her age? I can give you a list of authors she's allowed to buy. Me: With all due respect, would it not be easier for you to come in with your daughter? Woman: Certainly not. She's a grown girl, she can do it herself. ---- Customer: Do you have any books on the dark arts? Me: ...No. Customer: Do you have any idea where I could find some? Me: Why don't you try Knockturn Alley? Customer: Where's that? Me: Oh, the centre of London. Customer: Thanks, I'll keep my eyes peeled for it. ----- Customer: I read a book in the eighties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean? ---- Customer: Do you have 'Windows 7 for Dummies'? Me: Sorry, we're an antiquarian bookshop; nearly everything in here pre-dates computers. Customer: Oh. Do you have user guide for antiquarian computers? You know from, like, the olden days, when they had swords and stuff? Me: ...? -- Customer: Do you have, like, a Christmas book about that, like, really famous baby? -- Customer: Do you think you could post this book to America for me, in time for Christmas? Me: Yes. I'm sure we could. I'll just get the scales and I can work out postage costs for you. Customer: You expect me to pay for the postage as well? I'm already paying for the book! Me: ... -- the real Mr Scrooge... Customer: I'd like a Christmas book, about Christmas, that doesn't have anything to do with snow, or robins, or snowmen, or Jesus, or holly. Me: ... right. Customer: And no bloody carols, either! -- Customer: Do you have any cards? Me: We have some old postcards in a box by the door. Some of them have already been written on, though. Customer: Oh, do you have one that says 'To Juliette, with love from Christine'? It would save me writing it out again, you see.[Reposted from celaeno via knicKnack]
That moment when you’re in a hurry and trying to cross the street, but cars keep going by
and then finally the light turns red
[Reposted from bundzia via knicKnack]
[Reposted from bundzia via knicKnack]
HTTP Status-Katzen
Dazu gibt es kaum etwas zu sagen: HTTP Status Cats. Übrigens: Wenn dir das gefällt, wirst
du auch Freude an WebMatrix haben. Zum Beispiel mit dem neuen WordPress
3.3, dessen Code noch den berühmten “Neuwagengeruch” hat.
Zusammengestellt von GirlieMac.(Quelle) [Reposted from dohse via arbuziatko]
Zusammengestellt von GirlieMac.(Quelle) [Reposted from dohse via arbuziatko]
all true except for commies - its rather us commie bastrads drink first, then...
[Reposted from actionpapst via MissDeWorde]all true except for commies - its rather us commie bastrads drink first, then we shit in the glass and equally distribute it to the people.
via I could eat a horse is a spaghetti measuring tool...
via I could eat a horse is a spaghetti measuring tool...[Reposted from ula]
via I could eat a horse is a spaghetti measuring tool...[Reposted from ula]
One does not simply walk into Finland!
One does not simply walk into Finland![Reposted from barefootgirl via fyi]
One does not simply walk into Finland![Reposted from barefootgirl via fyi]
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